Christmas Relationship Expectations and How to Avoid Disappointment. There’s nothing better than spending Christmas with that special someone, however, it seems that the holiday season brings more than just smiles and festivity. This time of year can be quite stressful, especially for new couples who don’t know each other that well yet. You can easily end up disappointed if you form unrealistic expectations concerning your relationship, presents from your partner, etc. Even if you’ve been married for a while, it’s not always easy not to get carried away. Therefore, you should try to avoid expecting too much in order to be able to truly enjoy Christmas.
The Perfect Gift
There are some specific situations that can cause problems in your relationship due to huge expectations. One of them might be your expectations concerning Christmas gifts. Of course, it’s nice to get the person you love something to show your appreciation, but this can sometimes result in great disappointment when you read too much into it. Getting the “perfect” present isn’t easy, especially if you’ve just started dating, so don’t hold a grudge if your partner doesn’t get you something to your taste. Even partners in a long-term relationship can’t always get it right, because they might run out of ideas. Furthermore, if you get your partner an expensive watch and you get a hand-made bracelet (and vice versa), you shouldn’t feel blue; it’s the thought that counts. Don’t be disappointed if you don’t get a present at all. This doesn’t automatically mean that your partner doesn’t care– they might be short of money, or if you’ve just started dating, they perhaps don’t know what to get you. Finally, you should try and find out how your partner feels about Christmas in general – they might see it as just another day, which will tell you a lot about what you can expect, especially if your attitudes differ.
Christmas arrangements and events offer more possibilities for misunderstanding and disappointment. The key principle that you should follow is planning together! Before starting to plan the perfect Christmas in a hut far away from the rest of the world, take some time to figure out what your partner wants. If you just start making your own plans and not include your partner in the process, you might find out that they are planning to spend Christmas with their parents and you’ll end up disappointed. You don’t have to start with “hey, do you want to spend Christmas with me?”.
Instead, start a conversation about their favorite Christmas, ask them whether they have some family tradition for the holidays or to describe their ideal Christmas. Apart from the fact that this will help you find out what your partner considers important, it will also bring you closer together. On the other hand, married couples have a different kind of planning to do. Take some time to talk with your spouse about your finances and all the tasks that have to be taken care of before Christmas. You should decide together whether you want to have guests over for Christmas or an intimate dinner with your children. Whether you’ve been married for five years or going out for five days, remember that compromise is key!
The beginning of a relationship is incredibly exciting – getting to know each other, the first kiss, the second kiss, the first “I love you”. However, you can also feel tense and awkward, since you don’t know your partner that well, and you start behaving in way that you think he might like. Now imagine the combination of these feelings and Christmas expectations and disappointment. Scary, isn’t it? It doesn’t have to be. Just be yourself and listen to your feelings! You can find many pieces of advice on how to get a guy to like you and none of them will tell you to put on a mask. If your partner wants a Star-Wars-themed Christmas, but you don’t, don’t be afraid to say so. If you want to say the first “I love you” for Christmas, just do it – leave all the doubt behind.
Christmas is a time of joy and love, so don’t let the feelings of anxiety and disappointment take that away. The important thing is that you have someone you love who loves you back, and nothing else really matters.